“You look kinda like Ernest Hemingway.”
“And we’re both from Key West.”
“You’re from Key West?”
“Well, I used to smuggle coke out of there.”
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“Anniversary? Birthday?”
“Just because.”
“What’s your favorite thing about him?”
“No matter what, he makes the best of it.”
“What’s your favorite thing about her?”
“Her sense of adventure.”
“I want to draw cartoons.”
“She saved my life.”
“Who’s that on your shirt?”
“My ex-boss. We made these to make fun of him. Because he’s bald.”
“What’s the most romantic thing he’s ever done?”
“Oh God, he’s hopeless. During our first year of marriage, he celebrated our anniversary every single month.”
“If you could give one piece of advice, what would it be?”
“Be nice and like people!”
“What was the happiest moment of your life?”
“There are two: when my son was born, and last night.”
“Just sittin’ here contemplatin’ how I’m gonna get home.”
“What’s your favorite thing about your dad?”
“He lets me beat him up and doesn’t cry.”
“My town in Colombia is very beautiful. I don’t travel because I want to leave my home. I travel because I need to know why I’m staying.”
“I’ve been photographed in the same dress as Kim Kardashian. I wore it better, though. She was too short for it.”
“What’s your favorite thing about New York?”
“The women.”
She told me her name was “Edge-E-Sledgehammer,” then she started laying down some spoken word poetry.
“Is this stuff on the internet?” I asked.
“Nah,” she said, “I’m completely underground.”
“People see my buttons and think I’m a radical, but I just stand for peace! Except North Korea. We should handle them.”
“I did a little bit of everything. Was never great at anything… but I survived.”
“What’s the best day you’ve ever spent together?”
“Probably that day on the Ponts des Arts.”
“What’d you do?”
“Just held hands.”
“Back in 1978, she came knocking on my door to yell at me for using up three machines in the laundry room. We’ve been friends ever since.”
“Do what you want. Don’t listen to anyone else. Just do what you want.”
“When I was younger, I spent a lot of time wanting to be like ‘this guy’ or ‘that guy.’ Then at a certain age I realized that I’m probably going to stay me, and I should learn to be OK with that.’”
“When my husband was dying, I said: ‘Moe, how am I supposed to live without you?’ He told me: ‘Take the love you have for me and spread it around.’”
“I drive the truck.”
“You ever try a Vitamin B shot? That’ll get you high!”
When I asked for his photo, he asked for a few bucks to help him get lunch. I thought it was a fair trade. But a few minutes later, he chased me down and begged me to take it back. When I wouldn’t, he gave me a huge hug.
“I don’t understand her. And I love that.”
“What’s the best part about being a grandfather?”
“I get to love her so much.”
“He was training to be a surgeon when we got married. One night he came home from two days straight on the job, and I’d cooked him dinner. Right before he fell asleep in his plate of food, he asked me what movie I’d like to watch. I thought it was so sweet.”
“The only rules of the club are: you’ve got to be over 50, you’ve got to wear red, and you’ve got to like having fun.”
“I’m homeless, and I’m an alcoholic. But I have a dream.”
“What’s that?”
“I wanna go fishing.”
“I had heart surgery in October. Today I’m going to try to get on the train for the first time. Hope I don’t get knocked over!”
“We’ve been best friends since 1967.”
“You want me to hold my boys?”
“The neighbor’s dog got loose!”
After they finished kissing, she took off her blue cape, and laid it over a woman sleeping on a nearby bench. It was such an unbelievably poetic moment, I actually chased them down to fact-check my own eyes.
“Excuse me. Was that your blue blanket?”
“Yes.”
“And you just gave it to her?”
“….Yes, why?”
“Oh nothing.”
“Where are you hiking?”
“The liquor store.”
“We were both involved in the Civil Rights Movement. We met 47 years ago on a picket line.”
“What’s your favorite thing about your wife?”
“She’s sexy.”